Stream of Unconscious

Often I wake in the middle of the night with thoughts and visions that must be written. A lot of it may seem like mere rambling, but I am a born writer; I need to see what happens to my words once they stare back at me from the pages of my computer screen. Since I am ususally more than half-asleep when this happens, I jokingly entitled the original document: "Stream of Unconscious." Now that I am finally starting to publish in a blog (as so many people have suggested I should do!), I thought the title remained appropriate.

Saturday, February 9, 2008


Sometimes I wonder how my life gets to be such a mess before I've even realized it. I guess this is just the process of maturing, but I'm wondering how I got so far behind? I certainly feel like I'm behind if I'm not. I think I should probably stop being so hard on myself and just try to work with what I've got.

So often I feel like my life is only half-written. I'm not talking about how I'm still in the middle of the "story of my life," because hopefully God is really just getting started. But... you know when you start writing something... a song, or a poem, or a story... or maybe you're a painter, a sculptor, a mechanic... whatever your passion may be, but you just start doing something you love? And you have a vision for your creation, and the best of intentions for it to be awesome? And you work on it, and you're happy to work on it, and everything's going well. And then you put it aside for a little while, and think you'll get back to it? And then... you never get back to it? You find yourself a couple months later going: "I should get back to that thing..."

That's how my life feels right now. Like a room full of unfinished projects. And I don't know which ones I should start back up with, or which ones to throw away, or if I should just start new ones instead? I've got a lot of half-written dreams, and I don't seem to be able to finish them on my own. I'm not sure how to move forward with any of them...

I think I'm gonna be all artsie and symbolic and leave this one half-finished to prove my point!

Doesn't that just leave you longing for more?


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