Stream of Unconscious

Often I wake in the middle of the night with thoughts and visions that must be written. A lot of it may seem like mere rambling, but I am a born writer; I need to see what happens to my words once they stare back at me from the pages of my computer screen. Since I am ususally more than half-asleep when this happens, I jokingly entitled the original document: "Stream of Unconscious." Now that I am finally starting to publish in a blog (as so many people have suggested I should do!), I thought the title remained appropriate.

Saturday, August 4, 2007

Chaos

I've never been good at handling the in-between stages of life. For instance: moving. I'm terrible at it. I get completely emotionally overwhelmed, and that is exactly where I am right now. There is chaos at my old apartment, chaos at the new apartment, and because it's tax-free weekend, even more chaos at work. I'm completely broke because of all the deposits and start-up fees and whatnot, but I need to buy groceries at the new place so I'm not eating out all the time. Needless to say, I'm not doing so well.

It's an hour drive between my apartments, and I've just been loading up my Honda and taking load after load. I've spent a lot of money in gas, but in some ways it's worth it, because that is the only peace I get during the day... that hour of solitude before getting or dropping off another load of my crap. Today I just broke down completely, and cried nearly the entire hour to the old apartment.

And they say these are the best days of my life. In that case, my only hope is that I die young! At least then I wouldn't have to waste my time at a job I hate, when all I really want to do is write.

Does it ever get better than this?

1 comment:

Andrea said...

I know what you mean. I hope life does get better than this. I'm still looking for a job and have not gotten one yet. I have found plenty, but no one wants to hire me. And on top of that I'm moving also, but my mom and I have to be out by the 25th of this month and her house is not finished yet, so we are moving in with my grandmother who llives in a very small house. Talk to you later. Miss you.
Andrea